He ate my $10,000 sofa! What am I supposed to do with this dog?
Right now, nothing. You’re too emotionally charged to correctly handle the situation. Step away for 10 minutes, then come back.

There, are you feeling better? Okay, first question: why would you ever consider leaving your puppy alone with a $10,000 sofa? Or even a $2,000 sofa? Puppies chew. It’s their job. They use
their mouths for exploration, they have new teeth growing in, and they chew. In all likelihood, you left the house for a few hours and your pup got bored. To avoid future situations like this, find
some suitable toys to distract and entertain him while you’re gone. Even better, start crate training your puppy. If he’s chewing, he probably also has some housetraining problems. Both can be alleviated a bit by crate training(Crate training is full of challenges and issues, but it’s much easier to start when your dog is little than after he’s learned 3 years of bad habits. If you decide to encourage your dog to sleep in the crate, be prepared for a few nights of crying… but don’t give in. Stick with it and you’ll have a well-trained dog for life.)
Okay, Einstein, how am I supposed to crate train a puppy? He just screams every time I put him in there.
He’s used to seeing you non-stop and having full access to your home and all of your belongings. Now you’re putting him in a cage and leaving the house. Of course he’s screaming! One of the most important elements of crate training is making sure your puppy
feels safe and happy in his crate. It should be his home-inside-home, a special place just for him, but also a place that doesn’t cut him off from you. To help him make the adjustment to his new “den,” you can give him a few reminders of you. Find a pad that fits the bottom of the crate and that will cushion him and give him a nice place to sleep during the day. Now for the weird part. Place the pad in between your sheets while making your bed in the morning. If you can handle it, sleep with the crate pad in your bed. When a week has passed, the pad should have absorbed enough of your specific odor that it’ll remind your puppy of you even when you’re not around. Place it in the bottom of his crate, along with some carefully selected toys (we’ll get
to those). To help him realize that the crate is a positive place, offer him a treat once he’s inside and praise him lavishly. Don’t worry if he doesn’t eat the treat right away – he’ll probably eat it later, and the important part is that he’s making the connection that the crate is a good, safe place.
Crate train in short spurts at first. Have your puppy stay in the crate for 15 minutes each night while you’re home and visible. The next week, increase it to 30 minutes while you’re in another room. Continue increasing it incrementally, each time praising him when he both goes into the crate and when he comes back out. If you work full-time and need an immediate solution to puppy woes, you can try using the crate during the day, but never leave him in the crate for longer than four hours at a time or eight hours total in one day. Crates can also help facilitate housetraining, so keep reading.
Quick tip: This is a great time to use music. If your puppy has some soothing background
sounds, he’ll be less stressed about his crate time. If you don’t have any CDs handy, flip on the
TV so he can be comforted by the sound of human voices.